Avoiding the persecution complex

H.L. Mencken once said: The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts. He ascribes all his failure to get on in the world, all of his congenital incapacity and damfoolishness to the machinations of werewolves assembled in Wall Street, or some other such den of infamy.

Well, that's not as bad as what I have been going through the last few days but there are some similarities. To explain, I had worked very hard on a feature story for the Commercial Appeal about a young basketball player who has made a successful  career for himself as the point guard on a state championship-contending team despite losing his father to a drug-related murder back in 2007. I did a lot more than my normal "first take" work and put a lot of time and effort into both the interview process and the writing process.

So I was very dismayed to find out that the sports editor did not like my original submission and in fact didn't really have anything positive to say about it whatsoever. My initial reaction was to immediately take things into an unproductive place, with a good dose of feeling-sorry-for-myself-itis and "oh poor me." Thrown in for good measure.

I felt like I was being singled out, that I was being picked on, that the sports editor was using a different standard toe judge my work thane he was for others. Etc, etc. But--as always--the only person hurt by this line of thinking was me. And when I took a step back and looked at things objectively, I was able to see that.

He is not very much of a people person and his interpersonal skills are lacking in any kind of warmth or subtlety. This is one thing I have to remember; he doesn't know how to be diplomatic so any kind of criticism will undoubtedly sound more harsh than is intended. And I am sure he treats others the same way--in fact one of the other reporters has told me in the past that a lot of his stories get picked apart too. And lastly--and I think this is very important to remember in this particular case--I think he was bringing some of his own personal emotions to bare in the reading this story. His main point was objecting to my central point--that is the pain the player felt in losing his father will never go away (and since he told me as much, I believe it). But perhaps the sports editor's own relationship with his father wasn't the best and that's why it's hard for him to see the player's perspective. Regardless, I have to remember that (rightly or wrongly) someone's own personal experiences will come into play when reading a story of mine and that can and will cloud their perspective.

So what have I learned from this? No. 1, not to take things so personally. Because of my past, this is always going to be a hard thing to do, especially if the criticism isn't softened with some kind of positive message. But in the business that I am--where you are often putting yourself "out there" in a creative sense, it's impossible to avoid criticism. I have to let it roll off my back like this guy does:

Secondly, I have to remember that people are always going to bring their own experiences into a situation. That's almost certainly what happened here because when I re-did the story and made it less "dramatic" it was published without question or comment. So, knowing that people are going to be biased and their biases will show from time-to-time will make it easier for me in the long run.

Third, I have to remember that--whether being criticized or not--I am a good writer!! Enough people have told me (not including Jennifer or those who are related to me) that I know this to be so. I am smart and clever and have a natural talent for explaining things and making things clearer. And I have forgotten more about sports than most people know. So I just need to remember this things, stay unruffled like my friend above and do what's best.

The boss is always right. Even when he's wrong.